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lundi 19 avril 2010

UTINYA GUSOMANA NGO UTABISHYA? DORE IBYAGUFASHA? INTAMBWE ESHANU ZAGUFASHA GUSOMANA NEZA IGIHE UTANGA URURIMI


Abantu benshi usanga bagira ubwoba bwo gusomana, kuko baba bahangayikishijwe n’uko batari bubikore neza. Hanyuma abandi nabo ugasanga baratera utwatsi ababibakoreye, buri gihe yajya kumusoma ugasanga arahunza iminwa. Ni gute ushobora kubigenza rero kugirango nawe usomane neza nk’abandi?
Inama zatanzwe na Rujuta Borkar kuri www.buzzle.com, zigaragaza ko icya mbere cy’ibanze ari uko niba ugira ubwoba bwo gusomana ngo utabikora nabi guhera ubu ugomba kubifasha hasi.
Rimwe na rimwe rero kubantu usanga batarabana, tuvuge bari nko muri fiancailles, usanga basohokana bakajya gusangira, bakishima bakagirana ibihe byiza. Hanyuma igihe cyagera nyamusore agaherekeza umukobwa, maze bakagera aho bagomba gusezeranaho. Uko uwo mukobwa areba umuhungu yiyiba, rimwe na rimwe agacurika amaso akareba hasi, bikereka umuhungu ko nawe ashobora kuba yifuza ko yamusezeraho amusomye. Ariko umuhungu agahangayikishwa n’uko ibyo amusomamo wenda ashobora kuba ataribyo yibwira! Hanyuma ikindi kizana ubwoba burushijeho, n’aho umuhungu atangira kwibaza uko uwo mukobwa yaba akunda ko bamusoma. Ugasanga atangiye kwibaza ko namusoma nabi biri butume umukobwa amwanga burundu!
Techniques cyangwa se nanone théories zishobora gutuma umuhungu amenya gusomana, zitandukanye n’iz’umukobwa. Cyane cyane ko burya mu mico yose hirya no hino ku isi, ugerageza gufata iya mbere mu bikorwa nk’ibingibi akenshi ni umuhungu.
Uretse kuba mwagiranye ibihe byiza rero, ushobora no kuba usanzwe uzi uyu mwari neza, ku buryo uzi igihe aba ashaka gusomana n’igihe aba atabishaka. Aha biba byoroshye.
Turebe noneho iyo utamuzi neza, wenda ari nabwo bwa mbere ugiye kumusoma! Icya mbere rero ukora, ntago ari uguhuruduka ngo uhite umwiba iminwa, nibiba ngombwa ngo uyinunire! Oya. Ugomba kumwiyegereza buhoro buhoro, noneho ukamureba mu maso cyane bucece, ugenda wegera wegera gake gake, ari nako umwiyegereza, noneho yaba abishaka nawe agenda ubona ahinduka mu maso yitegura kukwakira. Ariko iyo atabishaka, aragusunika akakwigizayo. Iyo akwigijeyo rero, ugomba kubyemera gutyo ntuhatirize ahubwo ukazagerageza ikindi gihe.
Iyo rero ubonye atakwigijeyo, ugakomeza umwiyegereza, ushobora gukoza iminwa yawe buhoro cyane ku ye. Navuga ko ari nko kuyisigaho gahoro. Hanyuma naba atabishaka, azakwigizayo. Ariko naba ashaka ko umusoma nawe, nucunga uzasanga yahumirije amaso, ndetse uko iminwa yawe uyisiga kuye wumve nawe asa n’uyakira.
Hanyuma icyo uzakora nabyakira, ni ugutangira kumusoma, ariko kandi ntiwihute. Bitangire, ariko ubireke bitinde. Uzamusoma iminwa buhoro utayikurura ngo wende kuyica! Ibyo ukora bisa no kuyirigata cyangwa se kuyikomba buhoro. Nubishaka uzakura no ku minwa umanure werekeza ku muhogo, kandi byose ubikora buhoro buhoro, aho kugirango ubikore nk’ushaka kumurya! Witsindagira!
Niba rero ari ubwa mbere wari usomye uwo mwari, byaba byiza utihutiye kumuha ururimi. Cyangwa se tire langue. Ubundi mu cyongereza iyo baiser yo konka ururimi bayita French kiss. Wikwihutira rero kumuha ururimi, ahubwo bibikire undi munsi.
Reka noneho tugaruke ku wundi munsi, tuvuge ko ushaka kumusoma bimwe byimazeyo ndetse ukamuha n’ururimi, cyangwa se ukamukorera French kiss.
Iyo rero ushaka gusoma umuntu cyane ukamuha n’ururimi, wakagombye kubanza gutangirira kuri kiriya gice cyo kumusoma iminwa kandi buhoro. Nta ngufu zigomba kuba zirimo. Igihe kirageze rero, urumva ushaka gukomeza ukamuha n’ururimi. Tangira wasama buhoro, hanyuma uzane ururimi rwawe noneho abe arirwo umukoza ku munwa. Ururimi rwawe wirushyiramo umugaga, ahubwo nabyo bikore woroheje cyane. Naba ashaka ko umusoma utyo, nawe azatangira kwasama buhoro buhoro hanyuma igikorwa ukoze ajye acyakira.
Nubona rero nawe abumbuye umunwa buke buke, uzamenya ko nawe abishaka atyo nta kibazo, noneho iki nicyo kizaba igihe cyo kumusomana imbaraga. Syiraho imbaraga, umwereke ko koko washakaga cyane kumusoma. Ubikore utitangiriye. Noneho ikizagenda kikuyobora kugirango umenye ko yishimye cyangwa se ko abirambiwe, ni uburyo azagenda yitsa imitima (soupir), cyangwa se aho kwitsima imitima ukumva arahirita (gémir).
Mu gusomana, ni ngombwa kwibuka ko amaboko nayo agira uruhare rukomeye mu migendekere myiza yabyo. Buriya umusore iyo akaresa umukobwa amaboko, amanura azamura ariko kandi buhoro buhoro, nta ngufu ashyiramo, ngo burya nabyo bituma abakobwa batwarwa. Gushyira ibiganza byawe ku kibuno cye ngo nabyo bimugaragariza ko umukingiye. Protection. Igihe umusoma ushobora no gufatisha amaboko yombi akananwa ke cyangwa se mu misaya, nabyo ngo bimwereka ko umushaka bubi na bwiza.
Urumva rero ko uba ugomba kugenda uhinduranya amaboko yawe kandi ukamenya icyo gukora igihe cyacyo.
Igihe musomana, wikumva ko buri gihe uzajya umuha iminwa gusa. Cyangwa se ngo wumve ko uzahora umuha ururimi. Ibi nabyo biri mu bintu bijya bituma abantu barambirwa gusomana. Ni ngombwa ko uhinduranya, kandi udategereje ejo. Ahubwo mu gihe kimwe ukamusoma ukuntu kwinshi gutandukanye. Uku kumusoma bitandukanye rero, harimo no kuba wasa n’umurya ugutwi, ariko buhoro buhoro. Ukaba wamusoma akananwa se, amaso, agahanga n’ahandi. Icyo ugomba gushyira mu mutwe buri gihe, ni ukutabikorana imbaraga. Ahubwo nyine ukabikora mu buryo buri sexy. Bukurura.
Mu kurangiza, niba ugiye gusoma umuntu bwa mbere, hari ibintu wakagombye kubanza ukitaho:
- Kuba ufite umwuka mwiza
- Kuba wambaye neza kandi usokoje neza, ku bakobwa no mu maso ukaba ukeye
- Gerageza ugenzure (controller) amaboko yawe n’ururimi rwawe, kuko nubikoresha nabi uzamutera ubwoba cyangwa ukamubihiriza
- Iyemere. Wumve ko uri busomane neza. Kandi ibi bizumvikana mu buryo urimo umusoma
- Gerageza kumenya gusoma ibimenyetso by’umubiri we, kugirango ujye umenya niba ibyo ushaka kumukorera nawe abishyigikiye, cyangwa se niba atabishaka kugirango nawe urekere aho. Wari uzi n’ikindi se? Buriya ngo nta kintu gishobora gutuma umukobwa yanga kugusoma nko kuba nawe urimo kumwinsindagiraho! Ndavuga kumusoma ku ngufu.

INTAMBWE ESHANU ZAGUFASHA GUSOMANA NEZA IGIHE UTANGA URURIMI
Intambwe ya mbere, ni ukuba wibrosheje neza, mu kanwa hahumura neza, mbese nta mwuka mubi ufite. Kuko, uramutse usohora umwuka utari mwiza, bishobora kuba bibi.
Intambwe ya kabiri, ni uguhumiriza. Burya ngo nibyo bituma umuntu aryoherwa n’uko gusomana (savourer).
Intambwe ya gatatu, ku muhunggu usoma umukobwa, ni ukubanza ugasa n’usaba umukobwa uruhushya rwo kumusomesha ururimi, kuko ibi ubundi byakagombye gukorwa n’abantu bafitanye ubucuti bukomeye. Umusaba uruhushya rero wasama ukazana ururimi buhoro ukarunyereza ku minwa ye ukareba niba nawe agusubiza atyo, iyo atabikoze umenya ko yabyanze, ubwo ukarekera aho kuko aba adashaka ko mugera kure, wenda kubwe aba abona hakiri kare cyangwa se atanabishaka.
Igihe umusoma utyo wamuhaye ururimi kandi, intoki zawe nazo ntizicara ubusa. Ukomeza umukorakora cyangwa se unyereza intoki zawe ku mubiri we, cyane cyane nk’ahagana ku nda hasi, ukazengurutsa ku mabuno, ukaba wamukorakora mu mutwe, ariko kandi wirinda kumusandaguriza imisatsi. Nta mpamvu yo kwirukanka cyangwa gukora ibintu nk’iby’abasazi, niyo mpamvu namwe muba mugomba gushaka umwanya mutarimo kwiba.
Ariko ntibivuga ko umugore nawe adashobora kuba ariwe usaba mbere mu bimenyetso umugabo ko ashaka kumusoma birengejeho, amuha ururimi. Umugore we rero abikora ate?
Nawe ashobora gutera intambwe ya mbere akamwegera, hanyuma agafata amaboko ye akayamufatisha ku ijosi. Ntagomba gutinya kuzana ururimi rwe buhoro akarukoza kurwe, cyane cyane ko ururimi rw’abagabo rushobora kuba ruri sensible cyane kurusha urw’abagore. Icyo gihe uba utangiye kumushobora. Umukobwa ashobora nanone gufata ibiganza bye bigakorakora iby’umusore, amaboko ye, yibuka kubikora buhoro buhoro. Agakomeza akamukorakora hose, mu gituza cye, n’ahandi. Nawe rero ashobora gufata intoki ze agakorakora umugabo mu musatsi, kandi ku mugabo we, ntuzagire ikibazo cyo kuba wasandaguza imisatsi ye niba ayifite. We buriya ahubwo, ngo n’iyo uyikuruye gatoya bimwongerera kumva ashaka gukomeza kugusoma.
Intambwe ya kane mu gusomana bigiye kure, cyangwa se mu guhana French Kiss, ni ukwibuka ko igihe murimo musomana mutyo guhumeka nabyo biba bikenewe. Hari abakunda guhumekeranamo, bahumekera mu kanwa. Bakumva birabanogeye. Mbese urumva ko biba bisaba kugenda umenya umuntu buhoro buhoro kugirango umenye ibyo akunda. Abandi rero nabo bafata ako gahe gato ko guhumeka, yamara guhumeka akagaruka, ari nako ushobora kuba wamwitegereza ukamwenyura, bityo bikarushaho kuryoha kuko buri wese ariho abonera ko mugenzi we agishaka ko bakomeza batyo.
Intambwe ya gatanu mu gusomana bigiye kure, cyangwa mu guhana French kiss, aho umuntu aha undi ururimo rwe, ni ukwibuka ko murimo mwishimisha. Kugirango ibyo byishimo rero bikomeze kandi bimare akanya, ni uko mugenda muhindura. Niba mumaze akanya mwahanye ururimi, noneho mukongera mugasa n’abarekuranye, mukongera mugasomana iminwa, kwa kundi mubikora buhoro buhoro mudashyiramo imbaraga. Mukongera umwe akaba yasoma undi mu ijosi, n’ahandi, akoresha umunwa kandi abikora buhoro adashyiramo ingufu. Cyane cyane ko iyo muhana ururimi nabwo wakagombye gukora ku buryo ururimi rwawe nta mugaga uba urimo.
Emma-Claudine

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